I Want Things My Way:How the Recovery Method Helps

I get cranky and, frequently, it is because things aren't going the way I want, either within myself or with others. They are generally very trivial things but, nevertheless, get me hot and bothered, worked up and somewhat irritated.

I use the Method to spot in various ways. I recognize that to be cranky is very average. I use objectivity to point out to myself that "My Way" is a bundle of inner contradictions or desires that all point in the same direction: I want permanent comfort and security. Dr. Low says this is average, too, ("It is human and natural to crave an easy life", page 218, Mental Health Through Will Training) but I can spot this as boiler plate romanticism and it would be exceptionality to have a life like that even though it is common to think that most others have it easier than we do. The Method gives me a clear response to this last point: the most exquisite form of spotting is to spot what I do not know. And I certainly do not know the depths of the inner world of other human beings.

The outer environment doesn't exist for my benefit or anyone else's; I can spot self-importance in this regard. When I am cranky, there is, of course, angry temper but also fearful temper because, underneath, I don't like myself. So self-endorsement becomes important for me to cultivate. I command my muscles to slow down outwardly and use my "will to listen" within myself and take the focus off what is going on outside myself. I further spot that crankiness may have some elements of both fate and will because Dr. Low points out that you can see crankiness in the youngest infant which implies fate but I can also use the Method to place my will against fate and neutralize its effects. I then spotlight what is going well in my life and there are always many things that are if I have the will to self-honesty. Needless to say, crankiness is distressing but not dangerous.

After I have spotted for awhile, everything starts to look better, both in my outer and inner environment. The change in attitude literally creates a different perception of reality; I experience myself and others in a more positive light. The Recovery Method provides the road for me to take. All I have to do is walk it.

Cliff Brown
Grateful Recoveryite