I am leaving for Puerto Rico on Thursday; this trip is related to my job as a regional leader for Recovery. As I write this, I am looking at a list of things to do before I leave and am worked up and sabotaging my mental health by moving my muscles at a frenetic pace to be sure I get "everything" done. I can spot right now which I want to do with conviction because why should I put myself through this emergency mode of operating my life? My spotting is I can command my muscles to move at an average, sane pace in order to prove to myself that there is no danger (I am doing this right now as I slow down my typing of this Blog). My muscles will retrain my brain if I mean business about muscle control. I spot objectivity: I "want" to get everything done on the list but do I need to? NO! My mental health is what I need; not the total completion of the task list. This situation is very average for a person before they go away. I can lower my standards and my performance will rise in my own eyes. Perfectionism is a hope, dream and an illusion which I haven't yet given up pursuing at times but that is average, too, so I don't have to indict myself. I am endorsing right now for the efforts of the last 10 minutes. This is certainly a triviality. Also spot self-importance. Before Recovery when I was very obsessional and compulsive, the frenetic pace would have dominated my consciousness and behavior until all the tasks were completed. I am a calmer person today and gaining more inner peace as I go forward and utilize our invaluable Method.
Cliff Brown
Grateful Recoveryite.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Cliff, thanks so much for posting this. Another one for me to read and re-read (but not obsessively or compulsively ;) ). It really resonates with me as I've started to recognize that list proliferation and frantically trying to complete everything on said lists are two signs that I'm starting to work myself up (or have already done so and am well into sabotage). Hope your trip/work in Puerto Rico are going well.
ReplyDeleteyour Recovery friend,
Pas Une Sainte
Thanks, Pas Une Sainte; I really appreciate your comment and I so relate to it. Trip went pretty well and now that I am back I really need to spot with conviction re. what you said and "draw a line in the sand" re. muscle control when I have frantic impulses to "complete the list."
ReplyDeleteAll my best,
Cliff Brown